I hear it all the time. “My sister says that my favorite color is no color for a bridesmaid dress so now I’m thinking of going with [insert ugly color here]”… “Even though I hate polka dancing my mom said I have to play a polka song so the family can all dance to it”… “My future mother-in-law said her favorite flower is the carnation so I guess I’m going to have to do all the bridal party in carnations”… “My dad wants to invite all of his work friends and they are all people I’ve never met”…
Weddings are big events. Especially for you and your fiance… And for your parents….. And his parents… And your extended family… And your friends… And, and, and… But wait!! Who is this wedding for?? Is it for all of them? And how do you please everyone and keep it meaningful to you?
Don’t misunderstand me, I fully understand that there are a lot of people involved in this, and a lot of people who care about you, and maybe a lot of people who are paying so the decisions need to consider all of the above… But ladies (and gents), just because your family is vocal doesn’t mean they have to decide everything to do with your wedding. You are the bride (or groom)! And it is YOUR day! This is one of those moments in your life when you need to make decisions based on what is going to make you most happy, and stand behind those decisions when others oppose. If they love you they will support you and do what is best for you. Whether your centerpieces have carnations or calla lilies. Trust me.
My best advice when parents/siblings/friends/future in laws start to make you feel like you’re going to unravel? Tell them you’ll think about their idea, and then… politely… change the subject. Don’t say no and insult them, but don’t say yes if it’s not something you want! Pick a solid planning partner, whether it is your fiance or best friend or your wedding planner and use them as the sounding board to bounce all of these ideas off of. It’s important to have a neutral party or one who knows and supports you so you can vent to them and wipe that stress away.
In the end you only get one chance at your perfect wedding and you don’t want to look back at your day and think it wasn’t exactly yours. These people will love you in the end but they will not be the ones who have to look back on the day and see the polka dances, ugly colored dresses, or the carnations. Stay strong, brides! Keep the peace as best as you can and keep your vision in tact despite others’ pressures. And find a kind ear to talk to whenever… things… get…. ya know. 🙂